omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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