If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize