Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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