I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
