Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
