I wish I could punch you in the face.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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