I faked an abortion last night.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize