Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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