It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
