Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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