The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
