Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
