That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
