Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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