After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Where did you get a picture of my penis
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize