i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
