That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
