some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Im part way to drunk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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