He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
