I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
