i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I showed him my bush... on skype.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
