Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
