I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
