He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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