Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize