She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
