I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
