So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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