one might say we're banned from that church
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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