i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
