it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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