people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
