sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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