Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
