What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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