I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
