yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
