i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize