im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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