so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
