So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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