dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
