i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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