Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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