We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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