yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize