My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
