My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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