i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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