I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
