Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
