.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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