Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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