Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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