there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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