Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
