I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
worst night to have a conscience
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
