It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My ass is underappreciated
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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