I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize