Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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