meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
