After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
