I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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