I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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