You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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