He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
