I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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