White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
